There is no doubt that the parents love and care for their children immensely. However, there are chances that they can go overboard with their protectiveness and restrictiveness when it comes to giving space to their children.

There is a very thin line between protectiveness and over protectiveness. It is quite complicated when it comes to caring about loved ones with limits, letting them enjoy their life, and still restricting their wrongs. It does not take long until your protectiveness turns into overprotectiveness and then into suffocating them. That is exactly what our parents have to deal with every day. Handling children in the right way, and being a good parent is a big deal if we think of it. To adapt with every phase of a child that he/she reaches to and understand the young minds, along with providing them every necessity, I don’t know how people do it. The constant fear of children embracing the wrong path is always haunting the parents, which may lead them to become very overprotective leading to a toxic relationship with their children.

Signs of overprotective parents:

  • They try to solve everything for their children. Even the slightest problems are taken over by the parents which might be out of care and love, but that leads to children being indecisive and vulnerable in life. Let your children solve their problems themselves. you don’t want to make them completely dependent on you.
  • It is okay for your child to fail. Overprotective parents expect their children to be perfect in every aspect of their life. They tend to discourage their children from participating in any activity just to not see them fail. 
  • Children need space to grow. They need their time, time to figure out themselves and their life. overprotective parents seem much more indulged in their children’s lives which might make them feel suffocated in their own house. 
  • Overprotective parents set certain criteria for their children, for them to get what they want, or in simple words, they tend to teach their child a “conditional love”. children will get appreciation, affection, and love only when they excel in everything, they get involved in. 

 

Effects of overprotective parenting on children:

  1. Low self-esteem:

Children get so used to parents taking over their life, having everything ready in front of them, and getting dependent on them, that their individuality is somewhere lost. They do not find strength in themselves and cannot manage any single thing in life. 

  1. Prone to anxiety and depression:

Overprotective parents raise oversensitive children. They are always handled like a snowflake. However, when they grow up to become an adult, life throws all the rocks at them, and they cannot mentally perceive any of that which leads to mental illness.

  1. Always seeking Validation:

With overprotective parents always hovering around and getting always scrutinized for their behavior, children engrain the concept of pleasing people. They need validation in every step of their life and they become very much insecure about their decision alone. 

  1. Perfectionism:

Children are always expected to be perfect, not to experience any kind of failure, and always be on the top of the list. Overprotective parents in one way or the other impose “flaws are sin” ideas on their children and make them believe that otherwise they will not be loved by the one they want to be loved by. Hence, they inhibit narcissist behavior.



 

How to deal with controlling parents in adulthood:

  1. Take a break:

Create some space for yourself, and take a break to do something you love. go on a walk, sketch, hit the gym, workout, etc. that makes you get rid of the stress. Make time for yourself. This will help you clear your head and process without your parents interfering with you.

  1. Stand up for yourself:

Standing up for yourself will not be easy especially when your parents have control in your life. overprotective parents often feel that children are disrespecting them when putting their opinions across the table. So, this one might be tricky. 

  1. Limit your disclosures:

Parents have the right to know about the things that are going on in their children’s life. However, if your parents are overprotective, it is okay to spare them every single detail and keep a few things to yourselves.

  1. Acknowledge and accept the problem:

You cannot change your parents. So, you might as well change the way you respond to them. Understand the problem and set boundaries. Choose your battles, you do not have to exhaust yourself by being defensive. You cannot control your parents, so how about controlling your reactions?

To conclude, when parents go overboard with children and get too much into their children’s lives, it results in emotional and mental troubles. Children need space to grow, if not they will grow apart from their parents. overprotectiveness might come naturally when you love your child so much and when you don’t want any bad thing to happen to them but being parents, you need to understand that children should get to live, experience, and become strong individuals. Parents cannot always be there for children in person, so let them walk on their trails.