Having difficulty talking to your children about puberty and changes that comes along it? Here is what you need to learn about puberty to help your children understand and deal with puberty the right way.

Our body is continuously changing from the day we are born until we die. But there are also times when our body changes drastically, and one of those times is during puberty. Puberty can be challenging for both children as well as their parents, as a child will go through many changes from physical, sexual to emotional that could last a couple of years. All these changes are caused by hormones; different hormones are responsible for different changes. Both parents and children need to learn basic facts about puberty.

Whether you have a child or you are just curious about puberty, you definitely will have numerous questions related to it in your mind. Here are answers to some of the most common questions we hear parents ask when they want to talk with their child about puberty, as discussed with Dr. Meena Thapa, who is an Associate Professor (Gynecologist) at Kathmandu Medical College, Sinamangal, Kathmandu.

What is puberty?

Puberty is the period in the children’s life when they begin to mature physically and sexually, or say experience physical changes by which their bodies eventually become adult bodies.

When does puberty occur?

It does not happen to everybody at the same time. The time when puberty occurs varies among individuals. While both girls and boys go through puberty in general, girls reach puberty and sexual maturity at earlier ages than most of boys. Usually it starts around 10 years of age in girls and 12years of age in boys.

What are the signs and symptoms of puberty?

Body changes during puberty are the most evident changes in both girls & boys. In many ways the signs and symptoms of puberty are similar in both girls and boys as they both grow taller quickly, develop underarm hair, pubic and body hair, may sweat more that cause’s body odor, gain weight and often get pimples. More significantly, development of breasts and breast tenderness, wider hips and beginning of menstrual cycle are an early signs of puberty in girls. Likewise, boys develop broadened shoulders, their voice becomes deeper, and they often have erections.

What are children’s biggest concerns during puberty?

They need to learn that sexual thoughts, menstruation, wet dreams and masturbation are normal as everyone goes through that period. Not just their body, their mind grows along with it and they experience drastic mood change. In that case parents should encourage their child to discuss their feelings and even share their personal experiences whenever it is appropriate so that they do not get into any ‘bad friend circle.’ It will help them realize that all the emotions they are experiencing are just normal aspect of growing up.

When does puberty end?

Puberty has a varying duration in relation to age. As we all are different, there is no specific time line. It is a natural part of growing up and eventually it will get over. It is not in our hands to make it go faster. When puberty starts in a child it is not possible to predict how long it will last but most likely it is completed before the age of 16.

We also had a small discussion on this theme with some students and a mother of a 15-year old girl.  Read below to know what they shared with us as students and a parent.

Adity Karki, 22

Law Student, Kathmandu School of Law

While we are talking about puberty, I think it would be better to learn about the changes both sexes undergo in health education.  That way, students would not unnecessarily about the physical changes in their bodies. In my case, I used to experience a lot of pain during the early days of periods.  So, I was worried if this was a symptom of a severe health problem. It was only during my periods my mom explained me about it. I think it is important for parents to talk about this subject a head of time. I am not comfortable talking about puberty and sex with my parents; in fact we never had that kind of conversation in the family. If parents and their children regularly talk on these matters, unlike me, it will be comfortable for a child to share if he or she is experiencing any changes that scare them.

Anish Bastola, 23

Law Student, Kathmandu School of Law

I did not like my voice during my puberty. I was hesitant to speak out in public because of my croaky voice. It was my biggest concern. The thought of always having a hoarse vocal cord scared me. I think both boys and girls should learn about each other’s puberty. It is important to know about these issues as this will help them be sensitive about one another’s changes. Since my parents did not talk to me about it, I was not comfortable talking about it in the family except with my same age cousins and siblings. I think I learned about these things mostly through peer groups. I feel it is necessary to get prior knowledge about it especially from the family because the things that we learn in peer groups may not always be true.

Sharmila Shahi, 42

Entrepreneur

Well there is no specific age during which it is appropriate to talk about puberty, but my daughter was around 8 – 9 years old when I first had the talk with her on this topic. I know puberty and sex are often uncomfortable topics for parents and children, but it is important to talk about them. It is always good to start ‘the talk’ early so that it does not come as a surprise to your kid.

As a mother I am very concerned about my daughter. More than her, it was me who was worried about her during her first period. So I decided to talk to her about it. Luckily she had her first period during her vacation, and because we had already talked about it ahead of time it earlier it was easier for both of us to deal with it. Now I make sure that she carries a sanitary pad in her bag, in case she gets her period while she is out. It will also make her feel more comfortable dealing with what is happening to her.

Now my daughter is 15 years old and I can understand that she is going a through whole lot of emotional changes. Lately, she had pimples all over her face and back because of which she was feeling unhappy. I told her that she should not be embarrassed about all these things as all her friends will be go through the same changes. Children going through puberty may not like the body they are growing into so they need lots of support from their parents to let them know that they and their bodies are normal. As a parent, we should do what we can to make our children feel positive and good about themselves.